Naked & Utterly Dependent...

In Matthew 18 the disciples come to Jesus and ask Him who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. I guess it's a good question if you are trying to be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. I am not so interested in the question. I have always loved the answer that Jesus gave them. It always made me feel like they asked it just so I could hear His answer.

Matthew 18:2-5

Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them and said.

"Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me."

"Becoming as little children." I love this concept. It has helped me from the first time I saw myself in it. It helped me because I was taught that if I came to God as a little child then I was willing to be dependent on Him. I was willing to allow Him the reigns of my life and willing to see Him as the provider of the answers I needed in my life. This is foundational stuff for walking out a life with God, so I have meditated on these truths. I loved them and stored them in my memory as all kinds of examples of "Child Like" faith. Faith that asks God expecting response and having no reason to doubt because that is what a child does. A child looks to those who care for it with no concern for where their caregiver gets whatever it is the child needs, but a quiet and absolute expectation that it will come.

My pastor used to share an example of his child handing him a broken toy and simply saying "Here Daddy, fix this." There was no doubt in his child's mind that Daddy might not be able to fix the toy because that is what Daddy does. He fixes it, he takes care of it and he makes it right. A child walks into the kitchen and simply says to it's Mother "Mommy, I am hungry." That child fully expects Mommy to take care of that problem. That is what Mommy does. She gives you what you need for life. She is the one you tell your need to, and when all things are as they should be, she helps you. When they are right, she can be counted on to meet your need and you do not have to question if she will because it is simply what she does.

Can you see why I loved this? How could you not. To see God this way is to live in the relationship that He designed for us and longs for us all to be in with Him. He is Father and we are His beloved children and His care for us is certain. Jesus went through a great deal to explain this to us. To prove this to us. It is the Father's desire to give us all that we need to thrive and it is to be counted on. What a beautiful picture. What a beautiful truth.

Guess what I did with that while I meditated on it and kept those precious truths well guarded in my heart? I stopped acting on it. Very subtly and almost so you wouldn't notice, I grew up in my walk with God much like a child becomes an adult. You see that small child eventually stops coming to Dad to fix things, and stops asking Mom to provide every need. That child becomes an "Adult" and works for a living and starts to pay Mom and Dad back for all that they have done for them. Rightly so, they tell themselves. That is as it should be. An adult understands responsibility and exercises it to the benefit of others. An adult is a contributing member of a family and a community.

But Jesus said to "become as little children." Last night He and I talked about this. I had all my little pictures safely tucked away in my heart where I keep all my most precious understandings and when this came up I said "Oh yes, yes. I am to be a child before you. I remember lord. I love that picture." You know what He did? He pushed all of those previous pictures away like a broom sweeps away a pile of dirt, and He gave me a totally new picture to make His point.

He showed me a new born baby. Shivering, naked, wet, uncomfortable and crying out a scream of what could only be confusion and frustration. Cold, helpless and utterly unable to care for itself in any way. The baby is at the mercy of everything and everyone in it's midst. I saw that baby and the Lord said that this is how we enter the world, but what we fail to see is that this is how we remain in this world. From the moment we enter this world we need to be cared for and it is God himself who is our caregiver.


His care comes through people more than any other way, that is true so we can often forget that it is really ultimately from Him. Sometimes those people He desires to provide for us through let Him down. That is a shame, but despite that sometimes happening, caring for us is what God does. He showed me that in our attempt to grow up, we enter into an illusion of control. We start to see what we identify as cause and effect, and we think we are getting what provision comes our way because of our own actions. Yet the truth is that provision is from God. We build it up. We store it up and hold on to it. We use it and sometimes we give it away, and all the while we are tempted to think it is all our doing.

Well, we think that if we fail to look to Him and see the truth. The truth is that we are still exactly like that newborn infant here in this world. Without Him we are utterly lost. When I saw this, He showed me how my life was going. How I repeatedly step into this truth of "becoming child like" and follow the path that is laid out for me by Him, and my life is amazing. Then I turn right around and slip back into that illusion of control, and it confuses me.

When I left my country and my culture I opened my life up to seeing the lives of others in new places. What I found out here shocked me. People in the rest of the world are so poor, so in need of provision. They are so in need of a Father in every way. When I saw their poverty and their need, I wanted to be an adult again. I wanted to be responsible for the truth that was in me, and make a contribution to the world as a good adult should. I lost my way. I started to look at my Father and all those He cares for, and began to limit what I asked Him for personally because it seemed right to do that. When there is so much poverty and so many in need, the response is rarely to cry out to God and say "Look at me! I have a need!"

He started to deal with me. To instruct me and inspire me out of these thoughts and back into the truth of our relationship. I would follow for a bit and then head the wrong way again. This process has repeated again and again, and then we ended up in this conversation last night. I am about to turn 40 years old. For whatever reason, I found myself examining my life and it's progress. I can only guess it is because in my brain 40 seemed like a milestone worthy of life examination. When I looked, I saw things I liked and things I did not like. The things I did not like are not powerful enough to be deal breakers for me, but they are a challenge to me because I have to keep them from becoming more than just facts. If I allow them to be circumstances with power to affect my attitude, then I have a problem.

So in my head, I am examining my life. I am seeing the things that bother me and each of them are a direct result of the choices I have made. Choices both Troy and I made together about the course of our life. Those choices we made in pursuit of following God. I was not loving what I saw there. So I presented them to Him basically saying " You brought me here so what do I do with how this feels?" You see, I have so much less stuff then I used to, and things are not as comfortable as they were before. On a daily basis this means very little to me, but seeing this is not so great when your examining your life's progress on a worldly scale of success.

Notice I said "worldly scale of success." This is what the Lord pointed out. When judging my life on a time scale with accomplishment points, I was in serious trouble. If a home, a family and a career are checkpoints on the measure of life's success ratio then I've got very little to show for 40 years. In fact, if those are the markers, then I am my own worst enemy because I chose to give up all of those. I fully turned my back on them and walked away!

Fortunately, God was very quick to point out that He did not create that scale of measure. His scale of measure of greatness is very different. What I have in this life by way of that list means pretty much nothing to Him. What He measures by is the level of my state of child like humility. He told the disciples that "whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." In other words, how much am I depending on Him for? How much do I lead my life? How much of it belongs to Him? How much does He control? How child like am I?

It turns out I am that newborn infant. I am naked and helpless in this world without God to provide for me. I have no job. I have no paycheck. I have no savings. I have very little stuff. I depend on the kindness and mercy of others for everything. If there is no help, I do not eat. If there is no help, I have no provision whatsoever. I certainly make no contribution to the world whatsoever without someone else first giving to make it possible. I am utterly dependent on God. I was not seeing that for what it is. I was fighting it, and turning away from it. I was looking to reverse it in small ways because I thought that would be a good thing.

I was so wrong about that, and my life is so right just like it is. Then as if showing me all that was not enough, the Lord pointed out that seeing the error of my ways would keep me from straying off the path of being that newborn infant. You see, He wants me to remain there so that my expectations will be without fail. He wants me to look to Him just like that infant making my needs known with a cry out to my provider, and literally never having a doubt enter my mind that He will come through. It's what He does. It's what I do. It's how it is, and how it should be.

Join me. It's amazing! I will be honest. I occasionally spit up and sometimes poop my pants, but He always takes care of that for me. He cleans me up and sets me right every time. I don't even have to think twice about it. I don't have to feel bad or even wonder how to be more responsible. I just have to be. I am utterly dependent and unquestioningly obedient because those go hand in hand here, but it gets easier and easier because He keeps proving He can be trusted. So when He sets me on the edge of what seems like a great height over deep waters and floats out in front of me saying "Come to me," I just push off and fly out into His arms.

We are so happy here. I am so very loved. You are too. You are so greatly loved just exactly where you are, but you can know it more deeply and see it more clearly. If you want that then all you need to do is stop trying to grow up, and start trying to be just like you were the day you were born. Naked and utterly dependent with a Father who loves you with a love so great that it's limits will never be found. Safe in His arms. Perfectly cared for in every way.